Stricken...!!!

Fire and ice
In me today they have chosen to reside



Thunder and lighting strike the kite
As darkness envelops the night


Gradually the world fades before my eyes
And all I can see is but a sea of white

Nauseous yet can not throw up...else all the medicine I just took would go to waste...(remembering the RM50 I just spent at the clinic gives me the strength to hold everythiang back...!)




Shivering and shaking uncontrollably...teeth chattering, making sounds like castanets...knees knocking against each other - doing boxing among themselves......I could barely stand...

Pain shoots through me from head to toe...even when I remain absolutely still, I can feel the pain...if I try to move just slightly, it feels like electrical shock running through my entire body!!

My mind is practically blank...empty...can not afford to think properly...even though I tried to...tried hard......Everything seems to be running on auto-pilot mode...(But thank God they still run...even though it's auto-pilot...)

This was how I felt last night...

I did not realise that I have actually fallen ill until late at night...when in fact I have already been sick for more than one day! (The symptoms began on the night before but I simply ignored them...)




When I started to feel hot and cold at the same moment, I realised that something was wrong.





But I thought I could hold it out and would recover by the next day, just like all the other times I have been sick before, all I ever do was drink plenty of water, rest, and pray. It works everytime! Well, almost...everytime...until this one...

I was developing a temperature...but the fever came and went...so I was feeling weak at one time then better at the next moment...that made me think I was getting better...when in fact, it was beginning to grow worse...

Sometime after midnight, I finally had to surrender...I couldn't stop shaking, could hardly get my voice out - stammering violently due to uncontrollable shaking, couldn't stand properly, and when I tried to lie down, the pain is close to unbearable!!! (Feels more like I was lying down in a torture chamber than on my own bed...)

Tried hard to get a grip and recompose myself...when I finally managed to hold down the shivering and trembling, and my voice become more audible, called up Tracy - need help...S.O.S.!

She sent me to a clinic...which...spending less than 15 minutes there, cost me RM50...!!!




The worst part wasn't over, though...When I reached home from clinic, went to make a beverage, because written on the packages of all the medicine - was this: to be taken AFTER Food. But, when I smelt the cereal drink before me, I felt really nauseous...




Forced myself to finish it...else can't take the medicine...took half an hour to finish a small mug of beverage - my longest record ever! Then comes medicine...and...ALL the packages said: TWO tablets each!! Was wondering...why everything had to be in double portion??




Took another 10 minutes to swallow down everything - trying hard to resist the temptation of throwing up everytime I placed a pill inside my mouth...

A chill enveloped me...the shaking grew worse...I tried to stand up...Suddenly, my mind went blank and I saw white light...could feel myself falling...falling...
Instantly, I gripped hold of the edge of the desk, and managed to stabilise myself...Then, it happened again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and......


I realised that I need to get to bed, which was just a few steps away from where I was. But, it was really "so near yet so far" and "the longest journey ever"...





As I tried to make my way there, the fainting spells continued...but...finally...managed to reach...

I tried to lie down...and...it was at that time when...the electrical shock sensation ran through my entire body - again!!




That really woke me up - the fainting spells left almost instantaneously after that...!!

Lying on my bed, yet couldn' sleep - pain all over...Couldn't turn either - pain...!
Had to lie still, face up...
Feel like a log...


This was how I went through the night...sleepless...in pain...and shaking uncontrollably...

It's the first time I have ever been so ill...as far as I can recall...

Anyway...
Thank you so much to all those who have responded to my S.O.S....
Also...
Thank you so much to all those who have been praying for me...

And...
Thank YOU, YHWH Rapha...

Under all circumstances, ashira i'adonai...