Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Birthday Presents from the Lord: Blessings...pressed down and running over...

A Very Belated post...

1st of August, 2008 (Friday) - another date which will remain in my memory Always...

When you expect Nothing at all, it is then that you will receive Everything...

When God gives and blesses, what you get will always be better than what you could ever imagine or hope for, and always it will be more than you could ever ask or dream of - pressed down and running over...

I was expecting to go through the day just like any other day. It was a Friday and normally we would be having share group gathering, but our gathering this week was changed to movie night for "The Dark Knight". Since I have already watched the film with friends a couple of days ago, I didn't join for the film again, but have agreed to instead meet up my share group for a late supper afterwards.

I have been overloaded with work at the company for the entire day. By the end of the day I was rather exhausted and initially was contemplating to forgo dinner for the night. Yet Ebi came over and we ended up having dinner at "David KIM & GArRY Lin's" - baked rice with cheese. (Yay! I like cheese~) When it was time to settle the bill Ebi suddenly displayed his "Shadow Hands" and paid for everything...It took a few seconds for my brain to register the whole situation, and then to withdraw my hand, which was still busy rummaging through the wallet for dollar notes...Touched...the first surprise of the day...

When I reached home, I cast myself into the regular chores at once - cleaning and tidying - as Nana would be coming over to stay with me as usual - throughout the weekend. I'd almost finished cleaning everything when a message from "MyCow" arrived telling me that the film has ended and they would be coming over to fetch me for supper. Covered with dust and perspiration, and looking Absolutely Dishevelled, I informed MyCow that I HAD to take a shower before meeting up with them and suggested that they go ahead first, and I would walk over after shower to join them later. MyCow's reply was,"No problem, take your time. We will go fetch you. We'll wait for you." So I wrapped up the rest of the cleaning as fast as I could, then proceeded to my shower.

I had just stepped out of the bathroom when I heard my phone ringing. MyCow said they have arrived and are waiting for me at the staircases. As I have washed my hair and it was then dripping and looked like wet spaghetti, I once again suggested that they go first and I would join them when I am ready. Yet he insisted to fetch me there, which was only a few minutes' walk away from where I stay. My brain was already saturated for the day, so I didn't (actually, it's Couldn't) think much about it, and simply obliged. I was halfway through getting ready when another phone call came, this time it was Nana. Thinking that everyone must be famished and certainly tired of waiting, I instantly told her to ask MyCow to lead the group and go ahead, and I would come later. Yet she INSISTED that I get down NOW! She sounded impatient and slightly offended, almost as if she was stamping her feet (or going to) as she was speaking through the phone (high D mode!), and it worried me. I quickened up my pace and rushed down as soon as I could.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't see MyCow's car anywhere. I waited for some few minutes, then decided to give him a call. He told me they were already at the venue for supper. So I decided to walk over to meet them. I had almost reached the end of the car park at my apartment block when I heard someone call my name aloud. Surprised, I turned around and saw my share group huddling close together behind the staircases, holding a cake with candles lit in their hands. I was stunned for half a second but managed to quickly come around. Then the next thing was...I felt...I knew...that the floodgates were going to burst open... - these people had been hiding here waiting for me for so long all this while just to give me a surprise...! I tried hard to suppress the overwhelming emotions...Fortunately, at that critical moment, Hing came over "to the rescue" and told me to make a wish then blow out the candles. I gladly obliged. Then we proceeded to the destination for our supper - AhBoy~ I walked in front of everyone else and quickened my pace, coz I was afraid that if I only just look at them, tears would begin to fall...and I know that once we reach AhBoy, there would certainly be a lot of other people there and that would force me to hold the emotions back.

Tracy and Yvonne came into view as we approached AhBoy~ Along with Hing, it was almost like my former share group was also here with me - my long time wish and plan had always been to celebrate my birthday this year with my (now former) share group: the group of people who has helped me tremendously- in every way - love them much...and yet before that could happen, we have already "multiplied"...and I was thinking that this was going to be yet another unrealised dream...yet, God really sees everything in our hearts, He knows all our desires, our hopes, our every dream...and He made this dream of mine come true...Thank You so much, Lord...my first birthday gift from the Heavenly Father for today...

Emotions was building up within me, yet I refused to let it show at AhBoy~ as there were a lot of other people around - people whom I don't know. I received a book from Tracy as a birthday gift, and she ended up buying me a drink as well coz in the rush and frenzy to get down to meet my share group after receiving Nana's "threatening" phone call, I had only managed to grab my keys but had absent-mindedly left my wallet in the room...

We had a really blessed fellowship during supper that night...And, as I casually lifted my gaze heavenwards during mid-conversation, I saw a star shining in the night sky! - my second birthday gift from the Lord for the day...! Even though there is only one star, but I am already very happy...For I have always love stars since young for as long as I can remember...(don't ask me why - I don't know...) Somehow star always reminds me of God/Jesus/Noel...and it always brings me hope and joy...When I was sad, depressed, unhappy or moody, I used to go out of the house at night and just lift my head heavenwards and gaze at the starlit sky, and gradually the heaviness would lift from my heart, all the negative emotions would fade away, replaced by peace and tranquility...To me, watching the midnight stars is like having a silent conversation with the Lord, and always He would comfort me and give me peace in times like these...sometimes I would receive revelation from the Lord through star-gazing...Yet ever since I came over to the Peninsular, seldom could I see stars anymore - probably due to the hazy sky...I remember back at where I hail from, we can see stars in the sky almost every night, and I used to drift into slumber each night watching the beautiful starlit sky from my bedroom window as I lay on my bed...this is probably what I miss most from my homeland - the beauty of shining stars in the midnight sky, just like sparkling diamonds embroidered on a dark velvet cloth...Tonight's message from God: Always presevere, never give up hope, for the Lord knows your heart...His eyes are everywhere, and He never sleeps...He sees and hears and knows all things...The Lord blesses and watches over those He loves...

Finally, thank you so much, all of you (and you too, Ebi)...What I can say is, whoever involved in planning this surprise really know me very, very well, coz it was a great success and I was really "surprised by the surprise"...hahaha...

Birthday cake - white Tiramisu with fresh strawberries: it's beautiful! I love it~ it looks very much like a cake which I've seen in a Japanese anime comic I like...kekeke... (I have always love the look of strawberries on cake - again, don't know why, I just love the look of them like that, it's pretty - and white has always been my favourite colour...nice nice~) Tastes nice, too~

"My CAKE and I"...heheheh...with Gracy at the back, at AhBoy~


Even though I had managed to hold back the tears for the entire night, very early the following morning - sometime around dawn - I woke up in bed suddenly. It was still pitch dark, and, as I lay in bed, memories of the happenings of the previous night began to flow back to my mind...it was so overwhelming and I could no longer hold back, the floodgates burst open at last and tears streamed down my cheeks...Really, really touched...once again, reminded of the grace of God...

When I've finally stopped crying, I suddenly remembered that due to all the "unexpectation" and excitement, I was so occupied by being stunned and surprised that I had forgotten to thank everyone the night before!!! I had to quickly send out belated messages to them when daybreak came...what a scatter-brain I am...Aikz!!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

When Darkness Falls, the Knight Rises...








He is
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a Silent Guardian
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a Protector of Justice
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He is
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THE DARK KNIGHT




"The night is darkest just before the dawn..."
"I promise you - the dawn is coming..."

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain..."


"People are dying..."
"What would you have me do...?"

"Endure."
"You could be...the outcast."
"You could make a choice that no one else will face - the Right Choice."
"Gotham needs you..."

"I can take it...because I am not a hero..."




Beyond Expectation...Beyond Words......






The End of THE LONG WAIT...

Finally..."IT" is HERE...

I have been praying...and Praying...and pRaying...and prAying...and praYing...and...PRAYing......over "IT"...

I have been waiting for "IT"...yet dreaded the actual moment when I would be receiving "IT"...

Before this, I had toiled and laboured long and hard over "IT" - spent sleepless nights and endless days just to give "IT" my very best (even though I am terrible at "IT" - so, my "best", actually, is still not That good)...

THE LETTER that contained THE ANSWER is Finally HERE - the long awaited answer...to one of my prayers, to my parents' One Prayer, to my family's prayers...

THE ANSWER
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下流二等”榮譽
(Lower Second Class Honours)


Hmm...“下流” + “二等”...can still = 榮譽...???


All this while, I have been dreading and worrying that I may be getting a Third Class (“三流的”...?)...and I had been praying to God: Lord! ANYTHING But Third Class...!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeasssse~~!! Ne Ebi kun just teased me the other day saying that fortunately there is no Ninth Class...(“第九流”...) and yet, “下流二等” doesn't sound any better than “三流的” or “第九流”...aikz......

But, anyway, I REALLY, REALLY GIVE THANKS TO GOD!!! That I Finally GOT it ...(aye...even though it is “下流” + “二等”...) Thanks be to GOD!!! That all the time and effort I spent still produced a "crop" for "harvest"...that everything I have done didn't just go to waste and flow into the great ocean...Thank You so much, Lord...and THANK YOU for hearing and answering our prayers, however impossible they had seemed...(with my results the best I could hope for would be simply a Pass, ie a Third Class...and yet, He gave me something more than what I deserved - He gave me what I had been praying for all this while - something higher and better than Third Class, ie a Lower Second Class...) It is really better than what I had dared to hope for...(aye, even though I have been "grumbling" and "complaining" about the class awarded, I am REALLY, REALLY Thankful for it - just don't understand why they have to grade it in accordance to classes...a simple "Honours" Without the extra frills would have been Perfect - hmm...I suppose I would never understand this...)

Having known my result, Wind had been teasing me over it for days with cheeky remarks such as: Whoa...The first degree holder in four generations in our family wo...Be careful not to get your nose up so high that you walk into poles when you are walking along the street aaa...or fall into a man hole...or step onto a pile of dog-poo...or trip over your own feet and fall headlong - which you are "expert" in...or......or......or......etc...etc...etc...... (Hahaha...)

As for Dad, he was so thrilled when I revealed the news to him that he called up his mum (ie my grandmother) instantly to tell her all about it, and he couldn't sleep and couldn't stop smiling for days on end, and finally Mum got so tired of seeing him flashing his teeth all the time (it's been a few days now and according to Mum and Wind, he still couldn't manage to shut his mouth properly...) that she Simply Had To "complain" about Dad to me...

Haha...well, that's my wacky family...Anyway, from these various responses and reactions I am able to gather that they are well-pleased and happy...(even with a “下流二等”榮譽...aikz...)

Lord, I give You thanks and I give You praise...All glory, and honour, and power, and might, belong to You forever and ever and from everlasting to everlasting...Thank You for hearing us, and for answering our prayers...Thank You so much...for Everything...

Hallelujah...God bless...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Twist of Fate...?


Yes.
Believe it.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Never judge a person by his looks.
One of the best films ever~!!!
Everything is well done - fantastic story, awesome effects, terrific climax...
Love it~!!!
"I have placed before you life and death...Now choose life..." (Scripture verse)
Our destinies were not written the moment we were born...but rather they are determined by the choices we make as we journey through life...
Never stop doing good even when the whole world turn their backs on you...
Sometimes we have to sacrifice in order to make the right choice/the best choice...
Landa Yesu...
Follow Jesus...
Hallelujah...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Farewell...

Friday, 13th July 2008 - a Very Significant date...a date which I will remember always...

Our LAST share group gathering...after this...No More...
We will "multiply"...

It felt like our first gathering - we began with Icebreaker, then praise and worship, then sharing - We haven't been doing this for a very long time...

The "trademark" of our share group gathering - a game known as "Come-Mean-Toy" (I don't know what language it is, nor what the name means...), played using poker cards. At the end of the game, you will be able to realise at least two things: who is the swiftest and most alert in the group, and also who is the sleepiest...hahaha...

In the end, I lost the game...and was sentenced to singing the national anthem standing outside at the balcony as punishment. But...everything didn't go quite the way they were supposed to go...coz...I ended up in tears and shocked everybody...Some thought perhaps the punishment was too harsh to me and I had a fright when I learnt that I was to sing aloud at the balcony; some thought I was stressed out with some kind of problems... - sorry, all incorrect...Hahaha...Hmm...seems like my share group doesn't know me very well yet...and it was our last gathering!! I don't simply cry in front of people over such petty affairs...

My sentimental side...I seldom allow it to surface...(I don't like it, coz somehow it makes me feel that I am weak and feeble...)

It was our LAST gathering!!!

I tried hard to just "be normal" and "just treat it as any other share group gatherings" we have had before...but...well...

Actually, I knew long before that this day of parting would come...I was prepared for it (or so I thought). I never expect myself to react like this, though - Never!! To be honest, I was shocked by my own reaction even!!

I tried really hard to suppress the emotions that were building up within me throughout...When I learnt that we were going to begin with Icebreaker, my mind instantly flashed back to our first gathering, and how far we've come together...through storms and blizzards and worse...and it struck me that: This is the LAST time we do Icebreaker Together! This is the LAST time we play "Come-Mean-Toy" with each other like This...!

As we proceeded with the game whilst joking and talking crap and telling lame jokes and pulling each other's leg as usual, I realised: This is the LAST time we tease each other Together...like This...! And when I had lost: This is the LAST time that I lost a game I play with THEM...the LAST game with THEM...!!! Then, as everyone clamoured for me to "proceed" with the punishement, my heart told me: This is the LAST time they tease me Together like THIS...(I am going to miss all these so much...! Yes, I will even miss being teased by THEM...) and, This is the LAST time that they are so "united" - one heart, one voice - in doing one thing, ie urging me to be "executed" with the punishment...hahaha...well, that was the last straw...

My stronghold just crumbled after that...everything I had been withholding within tumbled forth... - the floodgates burst open...and...I couldn't shut it again...I tried to force the tears back - innumerous times, yet each time I was overwhelmed...

It was the first time I experienced a really, really "teary" praise and worship... - our LAST praise and worship Together...!! - thinking of that induced more tears to come to my eyes and they started falling even faster than ever before!!

I tried to recompose myself during sharing time...yet...when it was my turn to share and I opened my mouth...no words came out... - I felt a great lump in my throat...then, tears took over...once again...I had to stop a few times during my sharing because I couldn't go on, then continued when I managed to regain my composure a little...This is the LAST time that we share our hearts out sitting in a circle Together like This... - and, well, that thought, of course, brought forth yet more tears...

I felt like a broken water tap that day... - no matter how hard you try to turn off a broken tap, there will still be a leak - drops of water will still be dribbling...if you try to screw it tighter, the tap will slip, and the water, which had initially been trickling down in droplets only, will then gush out like falls...

We have gone through so much together...THEY are my family here... - They threw their door wide open and received me in when I was met with closed doors everywhere else...They walked with me, supported me, encouraged me, helped me, stuck with me...during the darkest times of my life...They showed me what true love and real family means...They held me fast when I was gradually slipping away from the arms of God...They were there for me and with me when I could no longer see God...when I could no longer feel God's presence...They suffered and went through it all with me...They suffered...coz they were in this battle with me...! Even when I told them to just let me go - seeing them being pressed down by the troubles that came with the commitment - as I really can't bear to see people suffering because of me, they refused!!! They just shut me up with this verse: "When a shepherd who has one hundred sheep lost one sheep from his flock, he leaves the ninety-nine sheep and goes in search of that one sheep...UNTIL he finds it and brings it back to the flock again." They SIMPLY REFUSED to Give Up on me...EVEN when it meant they Had to walk with me down the Same, dark, perilous path...fight with me...suffer much with me...They chose to fight with me in my battle... - mine...not theirs! Yet they were willing to fight it...with me...for me...I know a lot of people would have just let me go...just like that...and I don't blame them...coz it's a really difficult journey...we didn't even know what we would meet then...or what we would be up against...but THEY chose to follow the road less taken...they chose to be with me when it would be so much easier for them to just abandon me instead...and...because they Wouldn't Give Up on me, I Couldn't Give Up, either...! How COULD I give up on my own life When there are people around me who WANT So Much for me to stay alive and continue to live? It was their determination to hold me fast NO MATTER WHAT that in turn spurred me to hold on to God, no matter what...(even when I was in great and constant doubt then...) Honestly, I was really, really, really, really touched by them...

And, they came to my rescue everytime they received my S.O.S. ...hmm...they know me well in this One thing: I Simply WON'T ask for help Unless or Until I am in a Really "critical" condition...

I knew that God placed us together for a purpose. I also know that no matter how far apart we may be from each other, we will always remain right here in each other's heart...always...

During our LAST gathering, at one point PangPang became concerned coz I couldn't stop crying that he tried to cheer me up: "Remember that burger last week? If you stop crying I'll treat you to one for dinner later..." Well, I did manage to stop in the end...Thanks be to God! Else I'd be pouring at mamak and then I'd frighten more people...! And...as good as his promise, PaPa Pang REALLY Did treat me to a burger for dinner...! Wakakaka...So touched...blessed...(initially I had thought he meant it as a joke, really) but then...it reminded me that this would be our "LAST supper" together...and that brought fresh tears to my eyes all over again...

Thanks be to God:
(I) I thank God that I didn't flood Tracy's house with my tears...Haha...
(II) I thank God that I managed to (or rather, He helped me to) stop crying while I was still in Tracy's car on the way to dinner after our gathering - I managed to stop before we reached our destination...Thank God I didn't flood her car, too...
(III) I thank God for this beloved family of mine...
(IV) I thank God for everything He has given us - for good things and bad, for joy and for sorrows, for laughter and for tears...I thank You, Lord, for all the blessings You have showered upon us, for shining Your light in our lives, for being with us through it all...and...for calling us Your Children...Thank You, Lord...thank You so much...

God bless...Hallelujah...

An Urban Love Story...


It takes a real man to be a maid of honour...

"If you get married, I expect to be your best man. Tom, will you be my maid of honour?"
"...?!! Your maid of honour??!" (Slam!!! Ping pong piang~!!!!)
"Owwww~~!!!..."

"And this must be the lucky young man who is marrying our beautiful Hannah..."
"Oh, no! I am not marrying him. This is Tom, my maid of honour."
"...??!!! Oh! Well how about that...?! We have many gays and lesbians of the congregation...Welcome."
"...!!!!!"

"This is my maid of honour."
"...!!!!!!" "He's a gay." "Yeah, definitely a gay."
"..."

"What do you think of them?"
"I think they think I am a gay..."

"You are the one person who understands me the most...You are my best friend in the world...I just want to be with you..."

"I have prided myself on always telling the truth with everybody...But, I have been lying to one person all this while... - myself. Because, the truth is...scary...... - I love you..."

"I love you..." - one of the most difficult things to say...

"Love" - One word that frees us of all the weight and pain in life...

Even when sometimes your loved one has let you down, never forget that there is One who ALWAYS Loves you with an Unconditional Love...

Always remember how much Jesus loves you...always remember how much you mean to Him...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Choice...


There are heroes, there are superheroes, and then there's Hancock...

"TRY calling me 'S-Ho'...ONE more time..."

"Your head, is going up his 'S'..."
"His head, is going up your 'S'..."

"Good job."

All that a person ever wanted (no matter how great or powerful that person is) is simply to feel that he belongs, to be loved, and to be accepted by others...